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The depravity of the assailants is incredible ... what do you tell your buddies ... "Ooh, did you see how after he was completely unconscious and defenseless I was able to work up the courage to sneak back in and hit him in the face with that stanchion" ... "I'm a veritable 8-year-old-girl of manliness, now" ... "I wish I'd have thought to sissy-kick his shins" ...