But this was not a tournament match. It was a scuffle at an Austin Whataburger, with a dozen laughing spectators. And in taking the superior position, the BJJ artist had essentially painted himself into a corner. If this were an MMA contest, he could have sat on his attacker’s chest and pounded the man’s face. But when you do that at a fast-food restaurant, the police tend to call it an assault. Good luck convincing a judge–even in Texas–that such an act was reasonable or necessary for self-defense.

Where to begin (after I stop laughing from the video). First, don't be an asshole. And first, assume the cameras are running and that whatever you do will be on youtube FOREVER. Then first, don't beef with people you don't know as they may nuke your stupid ass. Next first, don't use opening moves that result in your pants falling down because it's hard to be tough with a crowd of strangers laughing as your hairy, white ass flaps in the breeze. Finally first, the poster is correct that there aren't any good closing moves to use that won't result in prison time once your in a mount. And last, the little guy was fortunate that the jerk's buddy was so disgusted with his friend's behavior that he wasn't willing to kick the little guys ribs in while he was tied up on the floor, which is what would normally have happened.